MONEY

Money is a murderer, a lover, a cheater, an overall horribly good thing.
It makes you uncomfortable, it makes you scream, it makes you paralyzed with fear.
It runs your future. It runs your life. It runs your parents' lives. It runs your friends' lives.
It runs the world.
It controls everything I do.
If I tried to run away it would catch up quicker than the police.
I'm a puppet to the green crumpled bills and I will forever be.

If I could be anything I would be money.
Money doesn't feel sadness, sorrow, regret.
It doesn't feel happiness or joy or emptiness.
It doesn't feel worry.
Worry.
Worry.
(I'm so worried.)
It is only money and has no need to change itself.
It is passed around and circulated and lost.
I guess that is how I'm like money.

EXHAUSTING

Every day feels like it's a year.
Time feels so infinite and looping that reality seems unreasonable.
I can't stop going to bed thinking everything will change the next day.
I feel like I'm being pulled away by a tide with no grasp on anything but I can feel every ounce of pressure of every wave crashing down in my mind.
I'm dripping of potential but I'm dying of pressure.
The pressure feels so suffocating and deafening.